You should need a license to get an ATM card.

<RANT>

Why is it nearly every time I go to an ATM machine, the person in front of me seemingly has no idea how the machine functions?

ATM machines began widespread use in the United States in the 1980’s.  For most people, it is their primary method of interaction with the banking system, yet to my knowledge, no banking institution has ever required the users of the ATM to learn how to use them in an efficient manner.

A test should be required for the issuance of an ATM card.  The minimum qualifications for use of the machine should include not only a reading and function test, but also a driving skills test.

Here is a small list of some of the people I seem to find at the ATM.

  • The person who can not read.
  • The person who is puzzled why they have no money.
  • The person who thinks if they keep pressing buttons, money will appear.
  • The person who waits until they get to the machine to find their card.
  • The person who cannot drive within 10 feet of the machine (Drive Thru).
  • The person who gets a ride to the Drive Thru and gets out to use the machine.
  • The person who gets a cash advance on credit to deposit it into their checking account.
  • The person who deposits money and decides they would like it back.
  • The person who wants to reconcile their check register through the machine.
  • The person plotting a hostile takeover of IBM through using the machine.
  • The person afraid if they press the wrong button, nuclear missiles will launch.

If you are one of the above listed people, please do your banking inside the branch.  The rest of the world who just want to get on with their day will appreciate it.

</RANT>